Terms to know

Suicidality: The American Psychological Association defines suicidality as “the risk of suicide, usually indicated by suicidal ideation or intent, especially as evident in the presence of a well-elaborated suicidal plan.” It can also be defined to include suicidal thoughts, plans, gestures or attempts. 

It is important to understand that those who contemplate suicide don’t really want to die. They want to escape or put an end to the pain that they feel. These intense, constant feelings and thoughts can lead someone to truly see completing suicide as the only viable option. 

When referring to suicide, use 

• “attempted suicide,” 
• “made an attempt,” 
• “died by suicide” or 
• “took his/her/their life.”

Burnout: Burnout is a psychological syndrome emerging as a prolonged response to chronic interpersonal stressors on the job. The three key dimensions of this response are:  

• an overwhelming exhaustion,  
• feelings of cynicism and detachment from the job,  
• and a sense of reduced efficacy and lack of accomplishment.  

The significance of this three‐part model is that it clearly places the individual stress experience within a social context and involves the person's conception of both self and others. 

Ideation: Suicidal ideations (SI), often called suicidal thoughts or ideas, is a broad term used to describe a range of contemplations, wishes, and preoccupations with death and suicide. There is no universally accepted consistent definition of SI, which leads to ongoing challenges for clinicians, researchers and educators. 

How to talk about suicide

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), a national leader in suicide prevention and awareness, lists conversation starters for you and your loved ones. Just talking about mental health can be the first step in understanding where others are with their mental health–and helping them get support if needed.

• How do you feel about the future, even if it's just tomorrow?
• What is one thing you are looking forward to?
• How do you seek a sense of security?
• What are some things that make you feel stressed?
• What makes you feel supported?
• Who do you reach out to when you need someone to be there for you?
  

The timing doesn't have to be perfect

• It's okay to circle back if you don't have time the moment you notice someone struggling
• Sometimes, you just need to let them know you can create space for them

What if they hesitate?

They might worry that sharing how they feel makes them a burden to others. In your own words, tell them you're here to listen and support—without judgement and that you want to be there for them.

Maybe you aren't the best person for them to talk to. Ask them if talking to you is helpful, or if there's someone else who can better support them.

What if they're ready to talk–and they're having a really hard time?

• Reassure them it's okay to talk about hard times. Just because they are struggling now, doesn't mean they always will.
  
• If you're ready to show up for them, ask them for more details and let them know you're here for them: "What's the worst thing about what you're going through right now?"
• Include that getting help from a mental health professional can truly make a difference for their situation.
  

Discover more guidance from AFSP on leading and responding to mental health conversations.

How to end the conversation

End the conversation by reiterating:

• You're so glad you were able to connect together and talk about meaningful things;
• Remind them we all have challenges at times and
• You'll continue to be there for them.